7Aug 2009

This week passed really fast. Perhaps is because I am starting to get used to work. Though I am still picking up new stuff, but now, I am more familiar with the things around. There are still doubts in work and I am thankful that Nik & Steve for being so helpful.

As for "us", well, it isnt too smooth I should say. Time is sarce for us. And me being emotional at times make it worst. he is too busy and i understand and witness why he's so busy. There's no blame or anything. But I just felt that I am not adapting yet. Last wkend is the 1st wkend here and is like my world revolve ard him. Well I m not sure if you all know. I cant take it this way. I need to have my own space and things to do. Not like sitting there waiting to see if he's free for me (n this is tough because he will just say now we go XXX...then XXX without giving me notice). I dislike that feeling. We got into quite alot of quarrels lately because I am EMO. Sigh... but he mentioned he did not blame me at all and understood the transition period. Well, I called bao over the phone on one of the days and chit chat. Amazing oversea chit chat. She understood my situation and knows me. We discussed and concluded that I will need to find my own activities here so I can make new friends and slowly built up my own world.

I wrote down quite a number of stuff I wish to do, which include nature walks and water activities; but not this season for my diving. (These activities were search by bao, i am rally touch, though is an easy search but is the effort she put it in for me, it almost bring me to tears) I was super excitied when I saw they got this F69 diving spot; is a sink ship. maybe will do this when weather is better. Might also will rent a bicycle n roam around or take a bus n roam around, depend how lazy I am. I am also thinking about taking up some lessons. Making of cocktails ( barist, i might be able to do a part time barist, wahahah dreaming), pottery classes which I always want to do but is expensive in SG, not sure about here, need to check it out. Perhaps also might pick up my dancing again. Not sure about these thoughts, shall see how it goes.

When I am rational/logic/clear minded. I got no problem with things here. However, the main problem comes when I become EMO. So another objective is to build a even stronger EQ ( though I got high enough, but I need it higher to overcome even tougher times at here ALONE).

I found my short term goals ( I am someone that need goals, else i dunno where to head onto or place my energy to), I believe I will be fine. Another goal is to make myself prettier. Wahaha, I brought alot of those beauty lotion for face, body, ampoules too. Mask too, last time in SG, no time for it, I now can do it every 2 nights. Sometime mask & sometime ampoules... Then do yoga for some time afterwhich will go ZZZZzzzz......

Actually my mind gets clearer becoz of one single point. not only am I adapting to this whole thing, he is also adapting me into his life and home. Plus not forgeting that his parents too, all need to slowly adapt me into their home & space. When I keep this in mind, I gets better. It had to be all parties working together.

Tell you all something sweet his dad did. Now for lunch I will take yesterday dinner dishes and bring as lunch the following day. Then there is this day's dinner, a piece of fish is left uneaten, his mum ask his dad to eat it, dont leave it half way, as I need to wash plate. His dad comment:" Let her take the fish for lunch tomorrow, is good to eat fish." So is like, he purposely do not finish to fish so I cant bring it for lunch today. When I heard it, is like Ohhhhh, so sweet + pai seh. Then I quickly say, ask him eat it, I got veggie & meat for lunch, is enough. Then he say, fish is gd, fish is gd, eat more fish. You eat so little, cannot, eat more fish. So sweet right! I was touched by this little act. And his dad comment once that I eat so little need to wash so many plate, so "bo hua'', so funny when he said that.Which I reply, cannot like that calculate. aunty cook dinner, I wash, is perfectly fine, and is not alot.... wahahah...